Were you expecting a simple formula? If so -- you'll be disappointed! There IS NO simple formula. No one-size-fits-all. No quick fix. No magic wand.
Blending two families with children into one new household is an important and often daunting task that takes great communication, compassion, and planning. What will the new rules be? How will expenses for the children be handled? Will you deal with disciplinary issues together, or have a "his are his and hers are hers" policy? Do you have an understanding about the relationship of your new home to that of the children's other parents?
Deciding the answers to all these questions BEFORE you combine households can make the difference between a happy home with peace, respect and order vs. one with stress, conflict, trauma and drama. At Step by Step Family Coaching, I really like working with prospective stepparents during the planning stage -- you know the saying: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!"
If this is the stage you're at now, just planning to combine households and blend families, I invite you to call me for a free consultation or book an appointment to speak to me in person, or online. I usually speak to the parents alone during the first contact; we can decide together whether we want to invite the children to participate, and when.
My toll-free number is 1.800.313.7176, and my email address is Edina@StepbyStepFamilyCoaching.com